Why Your Dog Isn’t Your Friend

Dog, man's best friend?

Your dog isn't your friend. This may fly in the face of conventional wisdom - "dog is man's best friend" - but a better word for a dog is "companion." Why is this? Is it because I hate dogs? Hardly. When it comes to dog training, one of the first mistakes many people make is to treat their dog as a friend rather than a companion. If you don't understand the difference, keep reading. It will become clear soon enough.

If you have a friend over to your house, would you expect them to follow your commands such as "sit" and "shake"? If you were to bark out those orders, they'd just look at you oddly and wonder when the next train out of town leaves. Similarly, it's just as odd to treat a dog like a friend who's staying at your house. "Companion" can refer to something that keeps you "company," while friendship should be reserved to your real human friends.

This is because many dogs respond instinctively to a pack mentality. Many of the behaviors that you think are "friendly" to dogs are in reality simply convincing the dogs that you are a submissive member of this pack. When the dog thinks it's in charge, it feels free to bark as loud as it wants, behave as it pleases, and try to control you. But when you treat a dog like the companion it is, it understands that it has a role in your house, and that role is not "leader."

When you think about dog training from this angle, it's easy to wonder the point of even owning a dog. "Gee," you think, "if that's what it takes to train my dog, maybe I'd rather just have him be my friend." But in many cases, you can have your cake and eat it, too. For example, when your dog is more well-behaved because of the standards you set for it, your affection toward your dog will only serve to reinforce that good behavior.

Many people make the mistake of believing the dog is a friend and using affection to goad and bribe it into good behavior. But if you take on the mentality of a dog trainer, you can both inspire good behavior and show your dog affection - without the nasty side-effects that come from making your dog out to be a person.

Photo Credits: vieux bandit

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